While waiting here in the sea breeze for the Cat Ba ferry, looking out to this view ...
... we're having a laff about tiddly things that have happened, and so for our own memory sake we thought we'd scribe them, if you'd like to read on, then do.
In a hotel room in an undistinguishable town we discovered a very large green hoppy insect clinging to the high ceiling architrave. Blandy went down to the lobby, drew the creepy looking thing on her hand (which was potentially indiscernible), and asked the gentlemen to come and save the day. Sure enough, the locust-like insect made the man grunt 'ahhhh' meanwhile Bry mimicked chewing all her fingernails at once, to indicate that she was terrified. Our rescuer said with a dead-pan face 'here no, Thailand eating yes.' Eh? Did he just think Bry was asking if she could eat it?! While Blandy swiped for the camera, the man made a quick exit, probably to save the critter from Bry and her rather dubious appetite! (Sorry we didn't get that photo, but the freaky bug was green-apple green, about 8cm in length, and had the spindliest legs that'd tickle ya throat if you lived in Thailand.)
Another funny memory was when we were tripping along the main road between two non-famous towns, and we see that up ahead a truck has been pulled to the side of the road by the traffic police. Vietnamese traffic police wear this beige coloured uniform, the colour catches your eye for all the wrong reasons. Bry was riding in front, and saw one of the beige brigade standing in the middle of the road, facing us, and he was flapping his arm around hip height. Obviously that meant something, but just not to us! So we stopped and waited behind the colossal truck, just in case. The beige guy bought another beige boy over, looked us up and down, looked at our muddy bikes from front to back, looked again at the number plate which was mostly dirt. Both of our minds raced at 106kms an hour - we hadn't been speeding (come on ... on 110cc bikes?!), we had our helmets on ... What were they looking for? Beige guy pulls out some fancy paperwork, pointing to us and nodding in reply to our pidgin "same same?"..... We have no idea what paper he expects us to produce but we start unstrapping our luggage as if we're sure we've got just the thing round here somewhere. Whatever it was, they must've thought we wouldn't have it but would offer them some cash as a fair alternative because they lost interest pretty quick, threw their hands up and waved us on. So... that was weird. We've since been told the cops aren't generally interested in bikes anyway, because the real money is in busting truckies for log-book discrepancies and other misdemeanours.
(This is the ownership paper (blue card) for our eagle bike, most likely what the beige guy was after.)
Another wee story: While patiently listening to the imploring spiel of a cheeky motorbike tour operator in Hoi An, we held up our motorbike keys and said 'no thanks mate, we're already doing our own tour. In fact would you like to come on our tour? We give you special price.' He grinned back, perhaps glad to have a different answer than a flat-out no. After a wee yarn about where we'd been, he said he'd like to show us the countryside (?). Another 'no thanks' and he shot back with this pearler ... 'Never try, never know!' That was our new favourite saying for the next couple of days!
While getting petrol near Cua Viet beach, a 12ish year old girl (or possibly boy) with sparkling eyes shuffled over to see who the new duo in town were. The kid was a few sandwiches short, and seemed super mesmerised by us. Her too-short faded trousers and grubby hands added a certain kind of charm to this girl too. While I straddled the bike and said thanks to the petrol pumping lady, our new little friend shuffled right up to me, and slowly reached her filthy hand towards my arm. Half of me wished I'd worn long sleeves that day, and it also crossed my mind that perhaps I was the first foreigner this kid had seen up close. So I reached out to hold her hand, and gave her a cuddle, to which she chuckled with excitement. Wiping some drool from her chin, she shuffled back and then forward again, and very decisively and deliberately the kid unzipped my shorts pocket and grunted. Glad for all that practise at the hand-slap game, my hand swiftly shot down to protect my worldly assets, and another finger waggled in the kids face while saying 'my moolah will stay right there thanks you adorable little swiping munchkin!' Needless to say, I was probably not the first foreigner the kid had seen! Never try, never know!
(This is a roadside mini petrol pump that lots of people have outside their houses.)
Because we don't want to get malaria, we've been taking Doxycyline each night. There are a couple of side-effects of these anti-malarials, including better looking fingernails and clearer skin, and the one we're enjoying the most is that it makes your dreams really vivid. Yes, yes, we're a bit weird! But we enjoy a laugh as soon as we wake up as we chat about the bizzaro dreams we've had. They've all been super happy dreams, and some of you guys have performed some hilarious antics during them! So thanks for the entertainment!
Mattresses in Vietnam are rock-like. Sometimes ya can get a 'solid' nights sleep. The explanation became obvious one morning as we rode past a mattress factory with their colourful mattresses all standing upright in the sun. Giant slabs of polystyrene were right next to the mattresses. Seriously?! On closer inspection, the hotel mattresses seem to be mostly polystyrene with a mini layer of slightly soft something on top. Lucky I brought my own internal cushioning!
The lucky (or unlucky) eagle has broken down a few times. One of those episodes was 25km south of Hanoi while on the main highway into town. The metal rod that connects the foot brake with the actual brake mechanism had unattached itself, and also the accelerator could be rotated but no extra rev happened. So with no back brakes and no acceleration, Blandy took the other bike for a reccy to find the nearest mechanic. It was about 2kms away, between rice paddies and winding alleyways through the back of a village. It was 35 degrees, and we were tired. Blandy couldn't be boofed pushing the bike all that way. Not able to find the mini rope we've got, MacGuyver whipped off her belt and we used that as a tow rope. We must've looked a sight wobbling on our grubby motorbikes, on a two foot wide path through rice paddies with canals of murky water either side! But we made it to the mechanics pretty swiftly, and found a chilled water to enjoy in the shade.
Helmets in Vietnam can be worn a number of ways... On your head. On your arm, over the handle bars of your motorbike, hooked on the helmet loop under the seat, strapped on the back, buckle clipped, buckle unclipped... Or simply not at all. Another variation of that is the driver wears one, but the three child passengers don't. Or arguably better when the family on the motorbike all have helmets on, albeit unclipped. As they go over a bump, the three year old wedged in the middle turns around to see her pretty pink helmet scuttling away under the bushes beside the road. About 200m further along the Dad realises his daughter is helmetless, looks around and sees me tapping my helmet and pointing back to the spot! He did a u-turn in the direction of the pink blur in the distance. We heard the fine for riding with no helmet is $8NZ, so not that steep. However a more incentivising reason to wear a helmet is that 40 people die here on the roads every day. Don't worry our Mum's, we're being careful.
(Top Gear boys riding through Vietnam with cookware for helmets! FYI they're not travelling with us.)
(The photo our Mum's will disapprove of.)
So those are our snippets of memories, hope they made you smile! Thanks for your messages and kind comments ... We are both super lucky to have so many beautiful people in our world! xx
Did you talk to the Top gear guys? Classic!!
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